Wendy's Sea Log: Get Off My Deck!
- Published on Sunday, 19 December 2010 00:00
- Hits: 671
- Category: Wendy's Sea Log
Twenty five red-footed boobies, tropical birds, perched on the bow overnight and showed no inclination to leave in the morning. I went out in the dark at 4 a.m., with a broom to nudge them off the rail, but they came right back. At first light I got out the garden hose and turned it on them, and all but one flew off. The persistent booby was surprised, hurt and indignant, and the following conversation ensued.
“Why are you squirting me? That’s not very nice. I was just sitting here, not even awake yet.”
"Beat it, bird. Fly away.”
"Why? What did I do to you?”
“You’ve pooped all over my deck.”
“But I’m a bird. That’s what I do. You don’t turn the hose on the storm petrels. They doo doo on the deck too.”
“Petrels are littler than you. They don’t poop as much, and it’s smaller, with just the white stuff. You’re a red-footed booby, a big bird, big like a seagull; you make three times as much doo doo, and it’s got turds the size of caterpillars. And you bring your breakfast along, and leave disgusting fish guts on deck. The petrels don’t do that.”
“But I have a prettier beak, long, and all blue-ish white, like fine steel. Don’t you like it?”
“It’s gorgeous. Get off my deck.”
“I was just resting here a while. It’s a big ocean, and we’re hundreds of miles from land. And I really like you a lot.”
“Yeah, right. Your geography’s off, you big booby. Hawaii’s less than a hundred miles away. Go rest on the NOAA buoy. It’s only a little ways back there. And you don’t look tired, a fat, healthy thing like you. Ride around with us all night, eating midnight snacks and pooping away, and say you’re tired? Get outta here, you faker!”
“You don’t say stuff like that to the petrels.”
“ ‘Cause they aren’t faking! They fly thousands of miles, little birds, through Arctic storms up in the Gulf of Alaska, and when they make it down here, they’re bushed. They crash on the deck and sit there to dry out and get their strength back, and some of them don’t make it. We have to throw dead birds overboard. But even they have to leave, eventually. And so do you.”
“But I love you! I want to stay with you forever!”
“Shut up.”
"Let go! No fair! You’re bigger than me, and you have hands!”
“Ouch! And you’ve got a beak!”
“No! No! Don’t throw me overboard! I haven’t done my morning flaps yet!”
“GET OFF MY DECK!”
And a Merry Christmas to all, even those bloody boobies.
Wendy's Sea Log: Hanukkah thoughts; religious tolerance; a poem for sailors
- Published on Thursday, 09 December 2010 00:00
- Hits: 622
- Category: Wendy's Sea Log
Hanukkah ends today. I taped white paper candles to my door, with the flame colored in with yellow felt highlighter pen, adding one for each of the eight days. Lighted flames are not a good idea on a ship. As my father was Jewish, we always lit Hanukkah candles, and celebrated Passover, both of which are cherished memories, and I occasionally go to a Passover Seder today. As my mother was Catholic, we also celebrated Christmas and Easter.
It was great, having two religions; at Christmas we got presents, at Hanukkah we got money; one penny the first day, two pennies the second day, etc. What kid is going to argue with that arrangement? It gave me tolerance, for religions and other differences. Pity the rest of the world can’t seem to live and let live. My folks let us choose our religion, and I chose Catholicism, but I still feel Jewish too. The Holy Land is next on my bucket list.
Sailors
We are as old as the sea
Aye, once past six years, old
We match barnacles with the pilings
We saw Poseidon play with Ulysses
We saw the dove from Noah’s arkWe went to the bottom with Bismarck and Kursk
Rode out Katrina and Perfect Storm
On the Arizona, still on watchRootless in salt, restless ashore
Vagrants ‘fore every wind that blows
But fair winds, seldomWe take care of the ship
Even hating it and each other
Fouled lines and fouled hearts
Have to work togetherNever grown up but older than all
Griping to start the day, required
Sending off salvos to those who fault us
Dropping wreaths overboard for those who leave usEverlasting for a midwatch star
Not likely to find it
No safe harbor
Or quiet portOnce to sea, always at sea
Aye, through the shrouds
You’ll hear us
With the wind
We’re there
We’re sailors
And we are as old as the sea
Wendy's Sea Log: Washing down the deck, scrubbing the repartee
- Published on Saturday, 27 November 2010 07:43
- Hits: 777
- Category: Wendy's Sea Log
Deck wash down: We break out the fire hoses and give the deck a thorough wash down once a week, first sweeping up and disposing of any noticeable piles of dirt, picking up any garbage, etc. Then we hit the deck with a fire hose to drench it, scrub it with teflon pads, the same kind you use to do dishes, and brushes on broomsticks. We often use Simple Green for the scrubbing. Then we wash it all off again with the fire hose, getting rid of excess water with the broom brushes and a squeegee. For rust stains, we first squirt on Ospho, an acid rust buster, let it sit a bit, rub it in with a rag, then scrub.
All three AB's are included in the exchanges below. All profanity has been euphemized.
Well, my goodness! It’s Friday, deck wash down day.
Oh boy!
Number one fire station; break out the hose.
No, not that nozzle! Crumbs! Wait—just a minute—OK, here it is.
You big silly! Don’t turn on the water yet.... (more below)
Give the gift of maritime music this holiday season! |
||||||||
 Great Big SeaiTunes Amazon |
 Holdstock & MacLeodiTunes CD Baby |
 Gordon BokiTunes CD Baby |
 Salty Dick (adult)iTunes CD Baby |
 Tom LewisiTunes CD Baby |
||||
Read more: Wendy's Sea Log: Washing down the deck, scrubbing the repartee
Wendy's Sea Log: Waiting for another ship; A union hall incident
- Published on Wednesday, 13 October 2010 07:06
- Hits: 543
- Category: Wendy's Sea Log
Editor's Note: After a two-month hiatus, Wendy Joseph is in Los Angeles waiting for her next job on an outgoing ship.
{cbavatar}wendy_joseph{/cbavatar}I will be in LA for the foreseeable future, waiting for my ship to come in. Literally. Hope all is well. Miss you all. I may be down here waiting for a ship until X-mas. Am keeping my limerick skills polished!
There once was a sailor from Leeds
Who said, "Not enough for my needs?
I'll rob the next dandy
Of gold, jewels and candy
Before the rich devil can sneeze!
There once was a beautiful lady
Who thought all sailors were shady
But she got a shock
One day on the dock
When she got her hand kissed by the matey
An Incident at the Union Hall
VERN: So, I need two standby ABs for the Maunalei for Monday-- (Union cards slap down on the table) -- OK, I got two. (Wendy's card isn't one of them; two others have more seniority)
WENDY: Damn.
ELI: Watch your language.
WENDY: Who are you to tell me to watch my language? Bosun?
ELI: Come on out and help pass out flyers for the Union Labor Day parade and picnic.
WENDY: Sure. But I didn't bring sunscreen.
ELI: Here's some. Now you've got no excuse.
WENDY: It's only 15 block. I need 45 block.
ELI: Put more on.
WENDY: That doesn't help much.
ELI: And take your glasses off when you put it on.
WENDY: Don't tell me how to put sunscreen on! I know how to put sunscreen on!
ELI: I'm a Bosun. You're an AB.
WENDY: We're not on a union ship or a union paying shore job. You can't tell me what to do. (Applause from other ABs standing by enjoying the show)
ELI. So here's some flyers; put them--
WENDY: I know how to pass out flyers! Don't tell me how to pass out flyers!
ELI: This should only take an hour or so.
WENDY: Good. You buying the beer?
Wendy's Sea Log: Democracy, 'USA' on a map, home again in Seattle
- Published on Friday, 09 July 2010 01:00
- Hits: 539
- Category: Wendy's Sea Log
Editor's Note: This is the final entry in career seafarer Wendy Joseph's sea log for her voyage from New Jersey to Singapore and back from May 11 to July 5. She served aboard the container ship President Jackson of the APL shipping line.
Updated July 20, 2010 with photos from her voyage.
{cbavatar}wendy_joseph{/cbavatar}7/3/10: 42°23.1’ N.; 55°50’ W.; Course: 260°; Speed: 20 knots; Temp: 58.4° F; Wind: 14 knots over the starboard bow
I try to treat everybody equally, maybe too equally for the hierarchy on a ship. Too democratic for my own good. But everybody is important here, from the Steward’s Assistant to the Skipper. All jobs are important; they are magnified out here, from cleaning the head to steering the proper course. I do not like snob hierarchies, and they really have no place on a ship. As I say, it’s about respect. I give little deference to place per se; I have courtesy and respect according to personal and professional admiration for quality and performance. And when I can’t do that, good manners are also good policy.
7/4/10: Happy Fourth of July! 41°00’ N.; 66°29’ W.; Course: 261°; Speed: 20 knots; Temp: 69° F; Wind: 30 knots over port bow.
08:00. Sunny, some haze on horizon. End of voyage and some nerves are frazzled; step lightly. As for me, I have pen and paper, and am happy. Saw land on the chart marked “United States of America” and smiled. The Maersk Kokura is still 38 miles ahead. Been chasing her since Suez. Wonder if we’ll tie up anywhere near each other.
Scheduled to pick up pilot at 04:00 tomorrow and tie up around 06:30. Then Coast Guard COI inspection and payoff. Hope to get off ship by early afternoon.
09:30. Dolphins to port and a small pod of finback whales to starboard. First cetaceans this trip. Hooray!
7/9/10: Signed off on July 5th, am back home, and will be sending this last log from Seattle. Hope you enjoyed these scribblings; will be sending more when I ship out again.
Read all of Wendy's Sea Log entries.